The Birdie sets a gold standard in Westmoreland County

By: HSSN Staff
Wednesday, October 18, 2017 | 4:39 PM

When the cleaning crew came in late one night this week, they found The Birdie pounding nails into new gold-colored carpet he had just rolled out around his desk.

“It's only a small space, but I livened it up quite nicely, if I do say so myself,” Birdie said, wiping his brow and lifting his safety goggles with a swollen thumb wrapped in gauze. “I installed tackless strips and stapled the pad seams, just like Google showed me.

“Any shade of yellow looks good on me.”

In case you haven't figured it out, the new look was inspired by Belle Vernon's gold turf at James Weir Stadium.

“If it works for the Leps, it can work for me,” said the Birdie, who didn't pick Belle Vernon to knock off No. 1 Thomas Jefferson, but won the rest of his picks to go 11-1.

“Now that's a gold standard,” he quipped.

He is now 85-20 for the season (81 percent) — and suddenly a Belle Vernon fan.

“I hope they let me keep the turf under my desk,” Birdie said. “A, it catches Firehouse Subs crumbs nicely and B, it's comfy on my tootsies. Just like for Belle Vernon, it's like my magic carpet ride.”

The Birdie likes Belle Vernon's defense and how it forces turnovers. It reminded him of how he fumbled his fresh bag of kettle corn Mrs. Birdie bought him at Fort Ligonier Days.

“All over the new rug,” he said. “Gotta do a better job of holding on to the goods.

“I texted Mrs. Birdie to see if they had any leopard-print rugs but she said no. She said she saw Ligonier Valley's coach there wearing a wig — that's a different type of rug — so I went out and bought the gold stuff.”

Now, without any more boredom-inducing talk about office interior design or bandwagon-jumping, the Birdie offers his Week 8 picks.

“I know you skimmers only read from here down every week anyways,” Birdie said. “Let's get dancing, kiddos. Time to cut a rug.”

Kiski Area (1-7, 1-5) at Penn-Trafford (8-0, 6-0)

Top-ranked Penn-Trafford will continue to run the ball, play strong defense and “Maybe even pass it around more this week,” Birdie said. “Give those Warriors a share of the Big East.”

Penn-Trafford, 42-7

Plum (3-5, 3-4) at Latrobe (2-6, 1-5)

The Birdie thinks Latrobe is due. “No, overdue,” he said. “This is the week they finish the job.”

Latrobe, 24-21

Belle Vernon (7-0, 7-0) at West Mifflin (5-2, 4-2)

Belle Vernon strikes the Birdie's fancy but, “They're not just my flavor of the month,” he said. “They look like they're for real. West Mifflin won't be an easy out, though.”

Belle Vernon, 22-14

Trinity (4-3, 3-3) at Greensburg Salem (3-5, 3-3)

The Birdie sighs every time he has to pick a Greensburg Salem game. “I don't know which team will show up,” he said. “Just not sure if the Golden Lions are a playoff team.”

Trinity, 30-20

Derry (7-1, 4-1) at Waynesburg (1-6, 1-5)

Derry still thinks it can nab a share of the Interstate Conference title and who is the Birdie to doubt the Trojans?

Derry, 28-0

Yough (1-7, 1-4) at Southmoreland (0-7, 0-5)

Yough has underachieved in the Birdie's eyes, injuries notwithstanding, but the Cougars are better than the Scotties, with or without banged-up players.

Yough, 26-13

Bishop Canevin (2-4, 2-3) at Greensburg C.C. (3-5, 2-3)

Greensburg Central moved the ball at times against a good Jeannette defense, and the Birdie thinks the Centurions still have what it takes to make the playoffs.

Greensburg C.C., 14-9

Avella (0-7, 0-6) at Monessen (2-6, 1-4)

Avella has given up more than 50 points per game. “Monessen wins easily,” Birdie said. “Watch those Greyhounds go.”

Monessen, 22-6

Central Catholic (6-2) at Norwin (4-4)

Norwin edged Butler, 7-6, last week, but the Knights face a much better nonconference test this week.

Central Catholic, 23-13

Franklin Regional (5-2) at North Hills (4-4)

Playoff-bound Franklin Regional needs a break from conference play, but North Hills is never an easy place to play.

North Hills, 13-10

Hempfield (1-7) at North Allegheny (6-2)

Hempfield had Penn Hills right where it wanted it last week but the defense could not hold up the wall. The Spartans will struggle in Wexford.