The Birdie offers Week Zero predictions for Westmoreland County

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Thursday, August 24, 2017 | 12:00 AM


A few coaches asked the Birdie if he bumped his head before he put together his column for last Sunday's preseason “Gameplan” section that gave his regular-season forecast for teams.

Some of the new Westmoreland high school football expert's predictions had coaches scratching their heads.

“One guy stopped me at Primanti's and asked if I needed to enter concussion protocol,” Birdie said. “No, sir. I did not. In fact, you may not know this but a recent study showed concussions are more prevalent in cheerleading than football. So, shake your pom-poms at that.”

In a twist of irony, Birdie did get plunked on the head by his cheerleader girlfriend when he was in high school because he took another “chick” to the holiday formal.

“We were just friends,” Birdie said, cranking up some War on his Walkman. “Hey coaches, why can't we be friends too?”

While his eyes still are fuzzy from staring directly into the sun Monday during the solar eclipse, Birdie, known for wearing the same cheap sunglasses for years, still managed to watch scrimmage film from last weekend.

“These new rules are going to be a handful,” he said, sliding his glasses up his beak. “Kickers can't pop up onside kicks? Maybe Hempfield softball should teach them how to drag-bunt. Heck, if you need a low, bouncing thump that goes 10 yards, check out one of my golf drives.”

And as for the new defenseless player rule, Birdie would like to be known as one from now on.

“No blindside hits on this guy,” he said. “Even if I pick against you, remember coaches, we're friends. I can't wait for some of these rivalry games Friday. I am pumped for my debut. It's Week Zero and I am your new hero.”

And now, the expert offers his opening week predictions:

Friday

Greensburg Salem at Hempfield

While neither team does much for the Birdie defensively, old yellow appreciates Hempfield's passing game.

Hempfield, 28-13

Latrobe at Derry

Much different teams line up against each other but the result will be the same as last year. “I don't know who Charlie or Mike are, but they know how exciting last year was in Derry and want more,” Birdie said.

Derry, 23-21

Penn-Trafford at Norwin

The Birdie's choice for game of the week will be a dandy. “It will be decided up front,” he said. “Norwin might break one or two, but P-T will have more productive drives and finish in the red zone.”

Penn-Trafford, 21-14

Jeannette at East Allegheny

The Birdie thinks the Jayhawks will get the passing game going in a Week Zero track meet. “Buckle up,” he said. “They'll rush for some paydirt, too.”

Jeannette, 30-13

Marion Center at Ligonier Valley

Ligonier Valley was machine-like at times last season during its run to the PIAA semifinals. “They made more splash plays than Idlewild and Soak Zone,” Birdie said. “And they'll make more.”

Ligonier Valley, 27-10

Yough at Freeport

Freeport has one of the shiftiest playmaking quarterbacks in 3A, but Yough's size and running game will bother the Yellowjackets. “Yough's linemen are nice guys but you could park the team bus in their shadow.”

Yough, 26-20

Monessen at Charleroi

Monessen has a new coach who understands the once-proud tradition in the Mon-Valley. But the Greyhounds will have trouble with Charleroi's spread offense.

Charleroi, 29-24

Mt. Pleasant at Laurel Highlands

The Birdie likes what new coach Jason Fazekas has done so far in upholding a program already in good shape. He thinks a strong running game will debut Friday. “Blocking well and running the football are staples at Mt. Pleasant,” Birdie said.

Mt. Pleasant, 17-13

Saturday

Greensburg C.C. at Tuscarawas C.C. (Ohio)

“This game will make a lot of you curmudgeons happy: two private schools playing each other,” Birdie said. “Both are rebuilding and young. Can GCC get off the bus after a two-and-a-half hour drive and be ready to hit somebody? Let's go with, yes.”

Greensburg C.C., 14-7

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