The Birdie scares up Week 9 picks for Westmoreland County

By: HSSN Staff
Wednesday, October 25, 2017 | 5:24 PM

Halloween is the Birdie's favorite holiday.

“It's nice because I get to dress up and step out of character,” he said, wearing a Groucho Marx nose and glasses and slurping pink milk from a bowl of Frankenberry cereal.

A part-timer hangs up a phone after taking a soccer score and yells across the sports department, “Dude, you're a little, yellow contrived bird. You already are a character. Get over yourself.”

The Birdie has gone incognito since he took the job as Westmoreland County's football expert, and while nobody knows who he is, he has learned the identities of the teams he covers.

“Teams can't hide from me,” he said. “I know all about you, your tendencies, your plays, your press box food; I even know how many Gardner Points you have.”

Again, the miffed scoretaker chimes in, “You don't know anything about WPIAL tiebreakers. You ask us to add them up for you.”

The Birdie, who went 11-3 last week to raise his season mark to 96-23, will choose his Halloween costume based on local teams and their personas.

“For example,” he said. “Penn-Trafford, Jeannette, Belle Vernon and Ligonier Valley are like Superman. Supermen. Faster than a speeding bullet. Able to leap conference teams in a single bound — you know how it goes. I'd make a fine Superman. Of course, Penn-Trafford might be more like Forrest Gump because they run so well.”

Part-timer: “Sit down and type the horse-racing odds, Birdman. You're not even Clark Kent. You should just go as a penalty flag.”

Unflappable, the Birdie yaps on.

“I might just go generic and be a ghost,” he said, “but it's laundry week and Mrs. Birdie doesn't have any clean sheets — unlike our local soccer teams … like that, you futbol junkies?

“I could go as Jekyll and Hyde and change outfits every block or so when I'm out bagging that candy. But people might confuse me for Greensburg Salem.

“Or maybe Pennywise, for my faithful readers from the other Derry, or one of the ‘Stranger Things' kids to fit the Franklin Regional motif.”

The Birdie plans to wear his costume to the WPIAL playoff pairings meeting Oct. 30 in Green Tree.

“Maybe I should dress like Mark Cuban,” he said. “That pairings meeting is like Shark Tank, anyways. You show what you have to sell, and they offer you a good seed in the playoffs, or ‘disrespect' you. It's a daunting experience for us media types who scramble to get the brackets early. And no free food. For that reason, I'm out.”

Here's the Week 9 picks:

Friday

Norwin (4-5, 2-3) at Hempfield (0-5, 1-8)

The Birdie expects to see some scoring, unless Norwin tightens its defense on those Spartans pass-catchers as it tunes up for the playoffs.

Norwin, 21-14

Connellsville (1-8, 0-7) at Latrobe (3-6, 2-5)

Latrobe picked up a nice win last week and will make it two in a row in the regular-season finale.

Latrobe, 30-6

Gateway (8-1, 6-1) at Franklin Regional (6-2, 5-2)

Upset alert. The Birdie is calling for Franklin Regional to cap a windy season with another defensive stunner.

Franklin Regional, 19-16

Penn-Trafford (9-0, 7-0) at McKeesport (6-2, 5-2)

With a conference title already in toe, Penn-Trafford will show why it deserves the No. 1 seed in 5A.

Penn-Trafford, 28-14

Uniontown (0-9, 0-7) at Greensburg Salem (3-6, 3-4)

With playoff hopes all but vanquished, the Golden Lions can play pressure-free football and close out a rocky campaign with a home win.

Greensburg Salem, 20-14

McGuffey (6-3, 4-2) vs. Derry (8-1, 5-1)

Derry will take care of business and lock down another playoff spot with its 14th straight win at Trojan Stadium.

Derry, 27-14

South Park (5-3, 5-1) at Yough (2-7, 2-4)

South Park knocked off Elizabeth Forward and will try to keep Yough's running back from breaking his own rushing record.

South Park, 24-7

Southmoreland (0-8, 0-6) at Mt. Pleasant (3-6, 2-4)

Mt. Pleasant won't make the WPIAL playoffs but the Vikings will finish on a high note at home.

Mt. Pleasant, 27-7

Greensburg Central Catholic (3-6, 2-4) at Springdale (4-5, 3-3)

With flickering wild card hopes, Greensburg Central faces a must-win and needs some help.

Springdale, 22-13

Jeannette (9-0, 6-0) at Clairton (6-2, 5-1)

Jeannette has been waiting for this chance for a few years. The Jayhawks finally have the team to dethrone the Bears.

Jeannette, 36-20

Mapletown (2-7, 1-5) at Monessen (2-7, 1-5)

Monessen is stumbling badly after a loss to Avella, but the Greyhounds should have enough left to top undermanned Mapletown.

Monessen, 19-8

Saturday

Berlin Brothersvalley (10-0) at Ligonier Valley (9-0)

Nobody has challenged Ligonier Valley, and that trend will continue in the Appalachian Bowl.

Ligonier Valley, 28-7

Tags: Franklin Regional, Greensburg C.C., Greensburg Salem, Hempfield Area, Jeannette, Latrobe, Ligonier Valley, Monessen, Mt. Pleasant, Norwin, Penn-Trafford, Southmoreland, Yough