Birdie gives twisted history lesson, Week 9 A-K Valley football picks

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, October 26, 2022 | 5:49 PM

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Last week: 9-2

Overall: 88-14 (86.3%)

Settle in for a little history lesson with The Birdie.

“I promise this lesson will relate to the upcoming WPIAL football playoffs,” Birdie said, pushing his wire-rimmed glasses up from the tip of his beak. “Just stay with me.”

It’s early summer 1755. British general Edward Braddock has formulated a plan to attack Fort Duquesne as part of an effort to drive the French out of the Ohio Valley.

A force of 1,400 men begin to march on the fort, and roughly 900 French, Canadian and Native American troops, well acquainted with the tactics of frontier warfare, stand ready to defend it.

As the British troops approach the fort, massive bloodshed is imminent. Just then, a British solider by the name of George Gardner stands and makes a plea for peace.

Instead of killing each other, Gardner reasons, the sides could merely gather and follow a mathematical formula designed to determine the superior force. They would get 100 points for winning a previous battle and 10 extra points for each battle won by a force they had previously defeated.

A winner could be determined without a shot being fired, Gardner says proudly.

He is immediately mowed down with a musket, the French rout the British and hold on to the fort for three more years, but that’s not the point.

For his efforts, a system of breaking ties in high school football standings was named after the brave young Gardner, and it still exists today.

No one liked Gardner back then and no one likes his points system today, but now at least you know the rest of the story.

Now, get some fresh Week 9 picks in the A-K Valley.

Birdie had two losses last week, which counts as a bad week for him this season. He was surprised by just how mistake-free Armstrong can be and how awesome Apollo-Ridge’s running game was against Serra Catholic.

• Leechburg (7-2) at Greensburg Central Catholic (7-2): Two contenders to play in the Class A final at Acrisure Stadium. Common opponent of note: Clairton. Centurions beat the Bears. Blue Devils didn’t. Greensburg Central Catholic, 27-21

• Apollo-Ridge (5-4) at Burrell (6-3): Vikings need this one to make the playoffs. Bucs don’t. Over-under on passes thrown in the game: 1.5. Apollo-Ridge, 21-20

• Deer Lakes (4-5) at Freeport (8-1): Yellowjackets’ only loss, remember, is to a pretty darn good Armstrong team. Freeport, 34-19

• Fox Chapel (0-9) at Shaler (4-5): Foxes wrap up a tough season. Shaler, 35-14

• Highlands (8-1) at Hampton (5-4): There’s no shame in losing to Armstrong. Golden Rams just have to make sure the River Hawks don’t beat them twice. Highlands, 30-15

• Kiski Area (1-8) at Armstrong (8-1): Coming off their first win, the Cavaliers run into a brick wall. Armstrong, 42-21

• Plum (4-5) at Indiana (3-6): Mustangs made some plays against Hempfield last week. They’re no fun to play defense against. Plum, 26-19

• Riverview (3-6) at Springdale (0-9): Raiders have done a good job maintaining focus when favored this season. Riverview, 28-12

• Valley (1-8) at Knoch (0-9): Vikings looked pretty good in the early going against Freeport last week. Valley, 21-19

Tags: Apollo-Ridge, Burrell, Deer Lakes, Fox Chapel, Freeport, Greensburg C.C., Hampton, Highlands, Indiana, Kiski Area, Knoch, Leechburg, Plum, Riverview, Shaler, Springdale, Valley