North Allegheny girls soccer player copes with tragedy

By: John Grupp
Saturday, September 20, 2025 | 11:01 AM

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Life can sometimes feel like a hard kick to the shins for North Allegheny’s Mwende Abai.

The junior forward for the Tigers’ No. 3-ranked girls soccer team already has endured more heartache and tragedy than many will ever experience.

“I can have a bad day, and it’s really not that bad,” said Abai, in her first year at North Allegheny after moving from Oklahoma. “There have been a lot worse days.”

In March, wildfires destroyed Abai’s family home in Stillwater, Okla., claiming virtually all of her possessions.

“Everything I had as a kid,” she said, “is gone.”

The fire was just the latest suffering for the 16-year-old.

Ten years earlier, she had to be life-flighted after surviving a violent attack at an Oklahoma State homecoming parade that left four dead, including a 2-year-old boy. Her father, Clement, and older brother, Keke, then 10, also were injured when a woman intentionally drove her speeding car into a crowd of parade spectators.

Speaking after a mid-September practice on a sun-drenched North Allegheny soccer field, Abai recalled two tragic moments, separated by a decade, that helped to form her perspective on life.

“It shows me how small some problems can be, but you see them as bigger,” Abai said. “Now, I see how small they are. … You know it’s going to get better.”

She keeps a positive outlook despite being only six months removed from a heart-wrenching day.

On March 14, wildfires fueled by high winds ripped through north-central Oklahoma while Abai attended classes as a sophomore at Stillwater High School.

The flames, which would destroy more than 300 homes and burn 170,000 acres, were difficult to predict. Abai and her classmates watched updates on TV and called parents, neighbors and friends to learn the wildfire’s latest path or official safety mandates.

“The fire was super quick,” she said. “They had started evacuating some areas. But they weren’t so sure. They were like, ‘It’s getting better. It’s dying down.’ But since the wind was so strong, it was really unpredictable.

“The wind carried everything. It had the fires jumping. In our neighborhood, there would be a house that was completely gone, and the house right next to it was perfectly fine.”

The family already had planned to move to Pittsburgh. Abai’s mom, Dr. Mumbe Kithakye, had accepted a job at Pitt and relocated ahead of her family. Clement and Mwende were set to join her after the 2024-25 school year. Keke, a soccer player at Boston University, was back in Oklahoma for spring break when the fires began to rage. Unable to return home amid the fast-moving flames, the three evacuated and stayed with family friends in Jenks, Okla., outside Tulsa, about 90 minutes away.

The rapid advance of the fires had prevented them from retrieving many possessions from their home. They brought only their important documents, passports and their dog, a miniature Aussie named Simba.

“We got nothing,” Mwende said. “Everything else was left behind. All of our clothes. We just had the clothes we were wearing. All trophies, all medals, gone. You wouldn’t know I did anything (in sports) before this.”

The blaze spared nothing. When they returned to their home a few days later, “it was completely gone.”

“I didn’t really want to go back. I’d seen pictures. I’d seen the house,” Mwende said. “There was maybe half of one wall standing. You would find tiny little pieces of stuff. I had this little glass Christmas tree. I found remnants of that.

“You don’t realize how much you lost until you are in the moment and trying to go grab something and it’s not there.”

The community rallied behind the family. Clement Abai, a native of Papua New Guinea who came to the U.S. on a track scholarship to Tulane, was a popular soccer coach in Stillwater, a college town of 60,000 located an hour north of Oklahoma City. They stayed for two-plus months in housing made available at nearby Oklahoma State before moving to Pittsburgh on June 1.

A GoFundMe campaign raised over $12,000. Mwende’s gym donated money, and friends delivered meals. One of her friends replaced a beloved Spider-Man blanket lost in the fire. Mwende was given new light-orange Nike soccer cleats — she proudly wears the pair this season — among countless other gestures.

“I think in that moment, I realized people are really good,” Abai said. “People do come together, and they are willing to help. It was really nice to see that.”

She doesn’t have such a clear recollection of the deadly Saturday in late October 2015 when 25-year-old Adacia Chambers of Stillwater purposely drove her car into a large homecoming parade crowd before an Oklahoma State football game. The Abais were among 47 injured.

Mwende, a first grader, was sitting on her father’s shoulders, watching the parade at the moment of the attack.

She was flung in the air and landed in the street. She was wearing roller-blades and, crucially, a protective helmet.

“If it wasn’t for my helmet,” she said, “I probably would have died.”

Clement Abai, who suffered a hip injury, found his daughter lying facedown, unconscious. Mwende came to during treatment and was flown by helicopter to The Children’s Hospital in Oklahoma City with a concussion, lacerations and bruises.

Keke had a cut on his foot that required 20 stitches. Their mom was uninjured.

“I don’t remember a lot,” Mwende said. “I blacked out. I was on my dad’s shoulders, and the next thing I remember, I was on the ground, and a bunch was going on. People were checking on me. I know I was wearing this one shirt that I liked a ton, and they cut my shirt, and I was like, ‘Oh, that’s unfortunate.’ I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation in that moment.”

Chambers pleaded no contest to second-degree murder and was sentenced to life in prison.

Mwende had to wear a neck brace for a while, but it wasn’t long before she and Keke were back serving as ball kids at Oklahoma State women’s soccer games.

These days, Abai is a creative forward for the Tigers, who are 6-2-2 overall (1-1-1 in Section 3-4A). The 5-foot-3 Abai has scored two goals as a key reserve. She also is a sprinter in track and was a member of a school record-setting 400-meter relay team at Class 6A Stillwater.

For now, her focus is soccer, where the Tigers have embraced their new teammate.

“She’s very outgoing and funny,” said senior forward Avery Ruffus, a transfer from Allderdice. “She’s not one to be shy. She’s very friendly and talkative. She is really positive.”

North Allegheny has a lot to feel good about this season. The Tigers recently posted six consecutive shutouts, matching the program’s second-longest shutout streak in at least 28 years.

North Allegheny coach Chuck Kelley said Abai has been “amazing” since her arrival, with a good work ethic and a bright attitude.

“She’s very mature for her age,” Kelley said. “I think that’s obvious.”

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