The Birdie gets set for a road trip out of Westmoreland County

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, September 18, 2019 | 4:57 PM

Last week: 13-1 (92.9 %)

Season: 40-8 (83.3 %)

Wearing a fake mustache and a Cam Newton babushka, the Birdie tried to avoid his assigning editor this week for fear he would have to cover a game in Week 4.

He always is trying to go incognito, even around the newsroom.

“They won’t recognize me with this Russ Grimm facial fluff,” Birdie said. “This way, I won’t have to cover one of these stinkers. What a rough week for the local fans. Hope you have Fuel Perks.”

The Birdie pointed out that only seven Westmoreland County teams are playing at home this week (Hempfield, Belle Vernon, Burrell, Greensburg Central Catholic, Khaki Area, Monessen and Ligonier Valley), and the others are scattered about the WPIAL map.

Wearing too-tight football pants — he’s allowed because it’s not heat week — he taps his foot to Johnny Cash’s “I’ve Been Everywhere,” which is playing on his Walkman, as he peruses the list of games.

“Two tickets to paradise? How about two tickets to Timbuktu?,” he added. “RIP, Eddie Money.

“I get paid for mileage, but they don’t pay me to get lost. Deer Lakes? No easy way to get there. Brownsville? Back-roads to nowhere. Laurel Highlands? Climbing mountains.”

The Birdie asked if he could expense a giant foam thumb so he could “hitch up the highway.”

Oh, the drama.

“There might as well be games in Ohio. Wait, Penn-Trafford is playing at Massillon, Ohio,” he said. “Maybe I can hitch a ride on a fan bus to save gas.”

The Birdie is as confident as Southmoreland after going 13-1 last week.

“Thanks a lot, Yough,” Birdie said. “GCC nearly lost to Leechburg in three OT’s. Whew, that one was close.”

Southmoreland has piqued his interest with its 4-0 start — and accompanying buzz around town — but he would rather watch the Scotties play at home.

“The real measure of a fan base is not how they support at home, it’s how they travel,” Birdie said. “However, I’d rather wait in line in Alverton than Brownsville. I heard Grimm himself had to wait in line and pay to get in? Come on now, his name’s on the scoreboard.”

Here’s what the area’s prep football pro has to say about this week’s matchups.

Friday

Canon-McMillan (0-4, 0-3) at Hempfield (2-2, 1-2)

Hempfield’s passing attack is a lot better this season, thanks to that big front line allowing time to throw. Look for more downfield passes to spring the Spartans to victory. Hempfield, 28-21

Norwin (1-3, 1-2) at Pine-Richland (4-0, 2-0)

Pine-Richland can pick apart just about any secondary in the WPIAL, and it could have a field day this week. Pine-Richland, 49-7

Latrobe (1-3, 0-2) at Connellsville (1-3, 0-3)

Special-teams play is one of Latrobe’s strengths, and the Wildcats should be able to get quality field position and double up the Falcons. Latrobe, 26-13

Gbg. Salem (1-3, 1-0) at Laurel Highlands (0-4, 0-1)

The Birdie never will warm up to Greensburg Salem fitting in with the rest of the Big Eight Conference, but he knows the Golden Lions should be a playoff team. Greensburg Salem, 30-13

Indiana (1-3, 1-2) at Belle Vernon (2-1, 1-1)

The host Leopards will use big plays to rough up the Indians’ day at “The Beach.” Belle Vernon, 46-6

Derry (3-1, 2-0) at North Catholic (2-1, 2-0)

Though Derry has a staunch offensive line, the Trojans’ pass defense is not as formidable. North Catholic will avenge last year’s playoff loss. North Catholic, 24-14

Mt. Pleasant (2-2, 1-1) at Deer Lakes (2-2, 1-1)

The Birdie admits that while his predictions are usually spot on, he didn’t forecast Mt. Pleasant having such an improved running game. Mt. Pleasant, 35-28

Yough (1-3, 1-2) at Burrell (2-2, 1-2)

Pass-happy Burrell will give the Cougars all they can handle, so Yough’s only shot lies in forcing turnovers. Burrell, 44-36

Southmoreland (4-0, 3-0) at Brownsville (2-2, 1-1)

An S.O.S. used to be a distress signal at Southmoreland — Same Old Scotties. Now, opponents are the ones who need the help. Southmoreland, 45-12

Jeannette (4-0, 2-0) at Springdale (4-0, 1-0)

Jeannette has shown balance offensively, but its defense will pressure the Dymamos’ second-string quarterback all night. Jeannette, 42-7

Imani Christian (0-4, 0-2) at Greensburg C.C. (3-1, 2-1)

GCC has looked strong at home, where the Centurions suddenly have six games this season. Imani will wish its homefield renovations had been finished. GCC, 28-7

West Greene (4-0, 3-0) at Monessen (1-3, 1-1)

The way West Greene has been piling up the points, Monessen will have to play a perfect game. West Greene, 52-22

Penn-Trafford (4-0) at Washington-Massillon, Ohio (4-0)

A long road trip to play a national-championship program will test the Warriors, who won’t be able overcome injuries or the Tigers’ reputation. Massillon, 28-17

West Shamokin (1-3, 1-3) at Ligonier Valley (4-0, 4-0)

Ligonier Valley has been so good in the Heritage Conference, and so good at home, the Birdie can take liberties. He’s calling for a pick-6 touchdown and a kick-return score. Ligonier Valley, 50-6

Saturday

Franklin Regional (3-0) at Shaler (1-3)

Playing a rare Saturday game won’t deter the Panthers, who will establish the run and grind down the Titans. Franklin Regional, 23-12