The Birdie offers up some preseason pigskin poetry for A-K Valley teams

By: The Birdie
Sunday, August 17, 2025 | 7:01 AM

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Moments after The Birdie turned in his preseason prediction column, his phone rang. (Crazy Train ringtone. RIP, Ozzy.) It was the boss.

The rest of the newsroom only heard one side of the conversation — the bird’s words — but it was enough to get the drift.

“No. I am very much in my mind, thank you.

“Oh, c’mon. They’ll love it. Kids these days love limericks. TikTok, Kendrick Lamar and limericks.

“I mean, we both know I’m no Alfred Lord Tennyson. I might have asked AI for some help. OK, a lot of help. But someone had to feed AI the info. I did the feeding.

“I’m not 100% sure why the Deer Lakes backs are jumping fences either. I needed something to rhyme with trenches. It’s fine.

“Yes, I seriously expect you to put it in the paper. I worked really hard on it.”

With that, against his better judgment, the boss relented and without further ado, enjoy a preseason limerick for each of the high school football teams in the A-K Valley.

Pulitzer, here we come.

Apollo-Ridge: Though last year was rough on the Ridge, Coach Skiba sees growth in the kids. With starters galore, they’ll even the score and aim for a postseason bid. Wins: 4

Burrell: With a new coaching era in store, Girardi takes over the chores. Though changes run deep, the Bucs won’t lose sleep. Coury’s legs will still get them scores. Wins: 3

Deer Lakes: The Lancers have been building a name, and they’re set on sustaining that flame. With grit in the trenches, and backs jumping fences, they’re hungry for more than just fame. Wins: 7

Fox Chapel: Though young, they refuse to despair. The Foxes are tougher this year. They’re ready to click. Zureikat can kick. They hope that the playoffs are near. Wins: 2

Freeport: The Jackets are back in the mix, with Ross always moving the sticks. The ground game is stout, their line brings the clout, and Gaillot still knows all the tricks. Wins: 8

Highlands: They came oh-so-close on that day, but Imani pulled off some late plays. Now the Rams aim for more, with new leaders to score, and a squad that could go all the way. Wins: 5

Kiski Area: A new coach in Haugh takes the reins, fixing details to break those old chains. They’re now getting ready, with effort that’s steady, to be a team that’s too tough to tame. Wins: 4

Knoch: Last year’s roster grew banged up and thin, but coach Wiley’s ready to win. “Play hard, never quit. Show up, commit!” Now they’re gearing to shine once again. Wins: 4

Leechburg: In the trenches, the Blue Devils dwell, with a line that should serve them quite well. Though their QB’s new, the backs know what to do, and they’re ready to give their foes hell. Wins: 7

Plum: Though last year was sometimes quite lean, this year’s team’s got a strong new routine. With backs led by pros, and quarterbacks who know, the Mustangs are chasing their dream. Wins: 3

Riverview: Coach George saw promise last year, though the playoffs didn’t appear. By focusing on each day — each game, each practice, each play — the Raiders have nothing to fear. Wins: 5

Springdale: Opponents would push them around. The Dynamos just couldn’t hold ground. But with muscle and might, they’re ready to fight, and push back until victory’s found. Wins: 1

Valley: Coach Adams faces a rebuilding year, with a young team still learning with cheer. Knuckles now leads the play, defense must find its way, but the Vikings could soon persevere. Wins: 1

Tags: Apollo-Ridge, Burrell, Deer Lakes, Fox Chapel, Freeport, Highlands, Kiski Area, Knoch, Leechburg, Plum, Riverview, Springdale, Valley