The Birdie predicts Acrisure or bust for Westmoreland County powers

By: The Birdie
Saturday, August 20, 2022 | 12:01 AM

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Acrisure or bust.

That is the Birdie’s slogan for the 2022 season.

He wants to be back on the big stage.

“Penn-Trafford, Belle Vernon, I’m looking at you,” the bullish prep prognosticator said as he prepared his season-opening remarks. “You can take the Heinz out of that stadium, but you can’t take the stadium out of Heinz … or something like that. Anyway, I still will put my favorite ketchup on everything and that place will always be the paragon of WPIAL pigskin. I plan to be on the North Shore to cover a county team going for gold.”

The new season sneaked up on the Birdie, who finished one win shy of 100 last season, although he predicted the exact score of the Penn-Trafford vs. Imhotep Charter PIAA 5A final (17-14), his crowning achievement of 2021.

He hasn’t stopped talking about it. Not when he went on vacation with Mrs. Birdie, not when he shot his age on the front nine at Birdsfoot Golf Course, not when he stopped by Pittsburgh Steelers training camp and not when he patrolled the WCCA 7-on-7 tournament.

“This season came out of nowhere,” he said. “I mean, it hit me like Will Smith. I have to get used to all of these new coaches and teams moving all around. I am not big on change, ya know.

“It seems like I was just in Hershey watching the Warriors win it all. They will always have that last win at Heinz for the scrapbooks.

“At least I know my exact lock will age well. The old bird’s still got it.”

The Birdie is working overtime getting ready for the season after a potential NIL deal fell through.

He stuffed the work fridge with Choco Tacos, which are being discontinued — much to his chagrin.

“We had come to terms, Klondike and I,” he said. “They were going to pay me the big bucks. Now, I’m stuck with boxes of Chocos. Oh well, guess it’s a win-win for me. Let’s go!”

While he’s upset Burrell didn’t invite him to the linemen hot dog-eating contest over the summer, he is hungry for some football but always has room for dessert.

Belle Vernon

The Leopards will drop to 3A, but their expectations might rise.

Wins: 9

Playoffs: Yes

Derry

It will be a getting-to-know-you year for a new coaching staff and system.

Wins: 1

Playoffs: No

Franklin Regional

A lot of skill and size to replace this season for the Panthers. Can they stay healthy?

Wins: 5

Playoffs: Yes

Greensburg Central Catholic

Look for the scoring to be up and the turnovers to be down for the talented Centurions.

Wins: 6

Playoffs: Yes

Greensburg Salem

A change of scenery will help, but the Golden Lions have some talent that could win on merit.

Wins: 6

Playoffs: No

Hempfield

Depth will be better, and a move to 5A could send the Spartans in a new direction.

Wins: 5

Playoffs: Yes

Jeannette

The good news for the Jayhawks: Nobody transferred. The bad news: The Eastern Conference is still brutal.

Wins: 2

Playoffs: No

Latrobe

A new coach and system has the Wildcats thinking big as they drop to 4A.

Wins: 5

Playoffs: Yes

Ligonier Valley

A team that appears much more acclimated to the WPIAL, the Rams should make some noise.

Wins: 6

Playoffs: Yes

Monessen

Numbers are improving, but the Greyhounds will have some work to do.

Wins: 4

Playoffs: No

Mt. Pleasant

The Vikings have some new opponents and will feel graduation losses, but they will compete.

Wins: 5

Playoffs: Yes

Norwin

Moving down to 5A will do wonders for their confidence, but the Knights still have a tough schedule.

Wins: 4

Playoffs: No

Penn-Trafford

The returning WPIAL and PIAA 5A champs should be very good again — especially up front.

Wins: 9

Playoffs: Yes

Southmoreland

If a few athletes pan out, the Scotties could be dangerous. But can they stop anybody?

Wins: 4

Playoffs: No

Yough

Same theme as a lot of local teams: new coach, new system. Nothing will come easy.

Wins: 3

Playoffs: No