The Birdie rules as he makes his Week 6 picks in the A-K Valley

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, October 2, 2024 | 6:28 PM

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Last week: 9-1

Overall: 43-17 (71.7%)

When The Birdie heard what happened before halftime in the game between North Allegheny and Central Catholic last week, he got so excited that he pulled his shirt up over the back of his head, put both his palms in the air and accused a part-timer of threatening him.

There’s nothing The Birdie likes more than an obscure rule. Seriously. Nothing.

To recap: North Allegheny made a fair catch at the 41-yard line, which entitled Tigers kicker Peter Notaro, by rule, to a free kick at a field goal off a tee with no rushers.

Notaro didn’t make the kick, but that wasn’t the point for the old bird.

It gave him a chance to brag about how smart he is.

“I know the rulebook back to front,” he said. “Did a book report on it in fourth grade. Keep one on top of the tank in both the upstairs bathroom and the powder room.

“Only way it could have been better is if he dropkicked it. That’s legal, too, you know?”

Without being asked, The Birdie then reeled off his favorite little-known football rules.

• Hurdling a would-be tackler is illegal in high school but legal in the pros. So Edwin Moses would be a great ball-carrier for the Tampa Bay Bucs but not the Burrell Bucs.

• Anyone who uses a reference as dated as “Edwin Moses” in 2024 has to immediately buy a pair of New Balance and join the AARP.

• There’s such a thing as a one-point safety. If the defensive team gains possession on an extra-point or 2-point conversion attempt, then voluntarily retreats into the end zone and gets tackled, it’s a one-point safety.

• If The Birdie ever sees a one-point safety in person, as soon as his head is done exploding, he must immediately retire from journalism.

• If anyone in the office goes out for coffee on Friday nights in the fall, they must bring The Birdie back a donut.

“At the very least, one of those cake pops,” the feathered know-it-all concluded.

Now, on to his Week 6 picks.

Burrell at Valley: Know what’s better than getting your first win of the season? Going on a winning streak. Burrell, 28-13

Kiski Area at Latrobe: Don’t count out the Cavaliers. They gave Franklin Regional a good run last week, and the Wildcats have struggled on offense this season. Latrobe, 14-13

Plum at North Hills: North Hills is one of the surprise teams in the WPIAL. Its only loss was to Pine-Richland in a one-score game. North Hills, 27-13

Mars at Knoch: The Fightin’ Planets are 2-4, but their nonconference schedule was brutal. Mars, 34-28

Freeport at Highlands: The Golden Rams’ three losses have come by a total of four points. Is there a team in the WPIAL with worse luck? Highlands, 42-27

Apollo-Ridge at Steel Valley: The Vikings are way better than their record indicates, but they catch the Ironmen with the Barksdale brothers hitting their strides. Steel Valley, 34-20

Brentwood at Riverview: The Raiders have to dust themselves off after a tough loss. Brentwood, 20-19

Clairton at Springdale: The Bears are back, which isn’t good news for a rebuilding team such as the Dynamos. Clairton, 40-6

Leechburg at Frazier: The Blue Devils keep rolling. Leechburg, 41-12

Beaver at Deer Lakes: The Lancers are in the midst of a historic season, but this will be their biggest test so far. The Bobcats are 4-2, but they’ve scored at least 28 points in every game. Beaver, 35-33

Franklin Regional at Fox Chapel: At the risk of being repetitive, there are no breaks in a 5A schedule. Franklin Regional, 39-13

Tags: Apollo-Ridge, Beaver, Brentwood, Burrell, Clairton, Deer Lakes, Fox Chapel, Franklin Regional, Frazier, Freeport, Highlands, Kiski Area, Knoch, Latrobe, Leechburg, Mars, North Hills, Plum, Riverview, Springdale, Steel Valley, Valley