The Birdie turns whining into an art form before making his Week 4 A-K Valley picks

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, September 18, 2024 | 7:44 PM

Last week: 9-2

Season: 26-13 (66.7%)

Everybody has that one coworker who makes the work day even more miserable than it needs to be with his constant complaining.

To the surprise of no one, The Birdie fills that role in the newsroom.

Boy, does he fill it.

“Oh, I’ve got a long list of grievances,” he huffed this week.

“First of all, lightning. If I never see another flash of lightning, it will be too soon,” he groused, referring to weather delays that plagued Week 1 and 2 of the high school football season. “I hate the hockey team in Tampa Bay. I hate the bugs in jars. I hate that stupid car in the Pixar movie. Blergh.

“Second of all, you remember the office fantasy football draft a few weeks ago? My first four picks were Christian McCaffrey, Puka Nacua, Kenneth Walker and Deebo Samuel. My fifth pick should have been the Aflac duck.

“Third of all, do you know Sheetz got rid of tater tots? Well, Sheetz got rid of tater tots.

“Fourth, on my drive into the office today, I made the mistake of listening to sports talk radio. They were discussing Steelers tackle Broderick Jones in great detail. Imagine the arrogance required of a talk radio host to think he can credibly discuss the finer points of offensive line play.

“Made me so furious I put DVE on. How many times can one person be expected to listen to Slow Ride? I can’t take it easy.”

With that, the boss slid a paper in front of The Birdie. He knew it was the one thing that would shut him up. It was his picks from last week, with the winners circled and the losers X’d out.

“I went 9-2 last week?” he said, a grin creeping across his face. “Maybe things are starting to look up. Let’s see if I can do it again in Week 4.”

Leechburg at Jeannette: These teams both have done everything asked of them so far this season, and both have a dynamic quarterback. Should be a barnburner. Jeannette, 35-33

Penn-Trafford at Kiski Area: A matchup of teams that already have had their ups and downs this year. Penn-Trafford, 28-21

Fox Chapel at North Hills: The Birdie wants to jump on the Foxes’ bandwagon, but man, there are no breaks in a 5A schedule. North Hills, 30-14

Pine-Richland at Plum: The Mustangs have some momentum after a nice win over Shaler, but again, no breaks in a 5A schedule. Pine-Richland, 42-21

Burrell at Freeport: The Yellowjackets gave it a good run against Deer Lakes last week. They’ve got to build on that showing. Freeport, 21-12

Deer Lakes at East Allegheny: How does 5-0 sound, Lancer Nation? Deer Lakes, 27-6

Highlands at Imani Christian: These offenses know how to light up a scoreboard. The Birdie is setting the over-under for this one at 99.5 points. Imani Christian, 50-40

Knoch at New Castle: The Knights wrap up a meat grinder of a nonconference schedule with a matchup against the 3-0 Red Hurricanes. New Castle, 21-14

Valley at Quaker Valley: Both these teams should be desperate to get in the win column. Valley, 14-13

Apollo-Ridge at Shady Side Academy: Two teams in need of a bounce-back after tough losses. Apollo-Ridge, 20-19

Springdale at Riverview: It’s time for the Raiders’ winning-season train to get back on track. Riverview, 28-14

Tags: Apollo-Ridge, Burrell, Deer Lakes, East Allegheny, Fox Chapel, Freeport, Highlands, Imani Christian, Jeannette, Kiski Area, Knoch, Leechburg, New Castle, North Hills, Penn-Trafford, Pine-Richland, Plum, Quaker Valley, Riverview, Shady Side Academy, Springdale, Valley