Birdie fixes Steelers problems on offense before making Week 8 A-K Valley picks

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, October 18, 2023 | 4:23 PM

Last week: 6-4 (60%)

Season: 67-23 (74.4%)

There are a lot of things The Birdie does well, and most of them involve buffet-style meals, but staying in his lane definitely isn’t one of them.

This week, your fearless feathered prognosticator, despite going a dismal 6-4 last week, decided to use this part of his column to diagnose what’s wrong with the Pittsburgh Steelers offense.

“A third-grader could solve these problems,” The Birdie said, “and since the boss told me I have the maturity level of a third-grader, I’m just the man for the job.”

With that, The Birdie pulled a crumpled up piece of paper from a reporter’s notebook out of his pocket. He laid it on the desk in front of him.

“If the Steelers go after these 10 player before the NFL trade deadline on Halloween, most of their offensive problems will be solved,” he said.

This list:

Foster Moreau, TE, Saints

Isiah Spiller, RB, Chargers

Ryan Tannehill, QB, Titans

Ezra Cleveland, G, Vikings

Chase Young, DE, Commanders

Ashytn Davis, S, Jets

Nick Harris, C, Browns

Adoree Jackson, CB, Giants

Dalvin Cook, RB, Jets

Alex Singleton, LB, Broncos

With that, the old Bird sat back in his chair and smirked.

“I think you can see where I’m coming from,” he said with a self-satisfied laugh. “Don’t make me spell it out for you.”

Full of himself after his little joke, the Birdie revealed his Week 8 picks:

East Allegheny (6-2, 3-0) at Knoch (7-1, 3-0): Not much separates these Allegheny 6 Conference title contenders. The kind of game decided by one big play or a turnover. Knoch, 21-20

Plum (2-6, 0-4) at Hempfield (1-7, 0-3): During their six-game losing streak, the Mustangs have had some good moments against good competition. This is a get-right game. Plum, 30-20

Highlands (4-4, 1-3) at Armstrong (5-3, 2-2): Injuries have sent the Golden Rams to an up-and-down season. This one easily could go either direction. Armstrong, 28-21

Deer Lakes (5-3, 1-2) at Shady Side Academy (5-3, 2-1): The Lancers have a chance to prove what they’re made of in their final two games. This one plus the finale against Freeport. Deer Lakes, 21-19

Valley (2-6, 0-3) at Freeport (2-6, 0-3): The Yellowjackets have had their struggles this season, but if they win their last two, they can grab a playoff spot. Freeport, 27-18

Apollo-Ridge (2-6, 1-4) at Serra Catholic (3-4, 3-1): Had to feel good for the Vikings to get back in the win column last week. Serra Catholic, however, looks to be on a roll. Serra Catholic, 27-14

Derry (3-5, 2-3) at Burrell (4-4, 3-2): A big game for the Bucs. They need to shake off a loss to Steel Valley and get back on track. Burrell, 14-13

Jeannette (6-2, 3-1) at Springdale (1-7, 0-4): The Jayhawks are most of the way back. Jeannette, 35-13

Riverview (4-4, 1-3) at Greensburg Central Catholic (5-3, 3-1): Such a heartbreaker for a game Raiders team last week. This is a tough spot for a bounce back. Greensburg Central Catholic, 34-21

Kiski Area (3-5, 2-3) at Fox Chapel (0-8, 0-4): Great win for the Cavaliers last week. They’ll need to focus on the Foxes, rather than a big matchup with Armstrong next week. Kiski Area, 28-14

Leechburg (5-3, 3-2) at Shenango (4-4, 2-3): While last week’s game was a heartbreaker for Riverview, it could be a momentum booster for the Blue Devils. Leechburg, 27-20

Tags: Apollo-Ridge, Armstrong, Burrell, Deer Lakes, Derry Area, East Allegheny, Fox Chapel, Freeport, Greensburg C.C., Hempfield, Highlands, Jeannette, Kiski Area, Knoch, Leechburg, Plum, Riverview, Serra Catholic, Shady Side Academy, Shenango, Springdale, Valley