Deer Lakes offense has The Birdie raising an eyebrow

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, September 18, 2019 | 4:57 PM

Last week: 8-3

Season: 31-11

The Birdie is on fire, and he let everyone know about it when he came into the office earlier this week.

“You see my picks from last week?” he said. “Only three wrong. That’s what I’m talking about! The best game picker is coming through. Watch out!”

Those three games caught the Birdie by surprise this week, but if you ask him, nothing catches him off guard.

“I even bet that Ben would get hurt,” the Birdie said. “And that guy in New England, I knew he was going to go bonkers. But, honestly, everyone knew that he was probably a little batty, so I can’t take credit for that one.”

As he scrolled through his box scores and statistics Monday, there were a few things that made his eyebrows raise a few inches. First, the fact that Deer Lakes put up 61 points in a game was beyond him.

“I couldn’t believe it,” he said. “Sixty-one points is a lot. That Aris Hasley kid must be the real deal.”

That day, the Birdie went out to watch the Lancers practice, and when he came back looking like a raccoon with a mean tan line from his sunglasses, his eyebrows were back to their normal height.

“I can see why they have 300 receivers out for the team. That kid can really sling it,” he squawked as he sat back down at his desk. “I bet you I could throw it like him.”

“Hey you!” he yelled at a stringer walking into the office. “Catch!”

The Birdie unleashed a throw 15 yards across the office that missed his target by 5 feet and drilled a water cooler, causing it to topple over onto a stack of old newspapers.

The Birdie had no words, sat down at his desk, and made his Week 4 picks. (All games played Friday except Leechburg-Riverview, which is scheduled for Saturday.)

McKeesport (2-2, 1-1) vs. Plum (2-2, 1-2)

The Mustangs play strong on their home turf but come up just short. McKeesport, 21-17

Fox Chapel (0-4, 0-3) vs. Hampton (2-2, 2-1)

The Foxes continue to struggle and can’t contain Hampton. Hampton, 21-7

Penn Hills (3-1, 2-0) vs. Kiski Area (2-2, 1-2)

The defending state champions are too much for the Cavaliers. Penn Hills, 28-14

Highlands (0-4, 0-2) vs. Beaver (1-3, 0-3)

After a solid showing against Knoch, the Golden Rams get their first win. Highlands, 21-14

Knoch (4-0, 3-0) vs. Ambridge (0-4, 0-1)

Knoch is too big and too good for the Bridgers. Knoch, 35-0

Mt. Pleasant (2-2, 1-1) vs. Deer Lakes (2-2, 2-1)

Hasley leads the WPIAL in passing yards and touchdowns. He’ll carry his team to a third straight win. Deer Lakes, 28-21

Uniontown (0-4, 0-3) vs. Freeport (0-3, 0-3)

In the battle of the beatens, the Yellowjackets get their first win. Freeport, 21-7

Yough (1-2, 1-3) vs. Burrell (2-2, 1-2)

The Bucs found their run game last week. They use a mixture of pass and run to get past Yough. Burrell, 28-24

Apollo-Ridge (4-0, 2-0) vs. Avonworth (4-0, 2-0)

In their toughest matchup yet, the Vikings come away with a statement victory. Apollo-Ridge, 21-14

Valley (1-3, 0-2) vs. Steel Valley (0-3, 0-3)

Valley makes it two in a row against Steel Valley. Valley, 21-7

Jeannette (4-0, 2-0) vs. Springdale (4-0, 1-0)

The Jayhawks are too much for the Dynamos. Jeannette, 28-14

Leechburg (1-3, 0-2) at Riverview (0-3, 0-2)

The Blue Devils bounce back with a big win. Leechburg, 28-7