The Birdie stays on brand with his A-K Valley Week 4 picks
Wednesday, September 20, 2023 | 6:23 PM
The Birdie walked into the office Monday morning and plopped two big blue Giant Eagle bags down on the sports desk.
This wasn’t unusual. He usually calls an order of that size “lunch.”
But this time, he had a point to make, which became clear as he pulled out a vat of Jif Extra Crunchy peanut butter the size of a paint can.
“When I go grocery shopping, there are some items where buying generic just won’t do. Peanut butter is one of those items,” The Birdie explained.
“You might prefer Skippy or Peter Pan, but it’s best to stick with the name brands. I remember at the beginning of the pandemic, there was a peanut butter shortage and I had to buy a store brand. Tasted like I was eating an Elmer’s glue and jelly sandwich.
“And God forbid you get stuck with one of those jars of all-natural peanut butter, the kind where it separates and pools with oil after about a week. What kind of dirty hippie eats that stuff?”
With that, The Birdie began to pull out a series of other items, scattering them all over the desk.
Finally, The Birdie was getting to his point.
“In high school football, paying attention to name brands is going to burn you more often than not. Two weeks ago, I picked Beaver Falls to beat Knoch just because Beaver Falls has the bigger-name football program. What happened? The Knights unleashed that offense on the Tigers and won the ballgame.
The Birdie smiled smugly, thinking he had just made a very clever point. He probably should have come to those conclusions before he turned in a terrible 7-5 record in Week 3. He’ll try to do better with his Week 4 picks:
Tags: Burrell, Clairton, Deer Lakes, Elizabeth Forward, Fox Chapel, Frazier, Freeport, Gateway, Greensburg C.C., Highlands, Indiana, Kiski Area, Knoch, Leechburg, Mt. Pleasant, North Catholic, Pine-Richland, Plum, Riverview, Southmoreland, Springdale, Uniontown, Valley, Yough
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